Unfolding the Depths of Cindy Edwards

Behold the dreamers, a book full of many different stories of many different people that all end up overlapping. A book that leads its audience through heartache countless times. One character who was at the root of all the pain was Cindy Edwards. She was cold, manipulative, guarded, and just overall isolated from most people in her life including her husband and children. Cindy grew up with a rough background to be fair though. Her mother resented her because she was a product of rape, she was raised around addiction and abuse, and overall just had no support system whatsoever. When Clark came into her life (Clark is her husband) she clung to him and the attention he initially fed her. She finally felt as though she was wanted or that she belonged somewhere. They had two kids, Vince and Mighty. As the years of their marriage went on, Clark grew more distant from her. This is most likely what lead to her drug and alcohol abuse that ultimately caused her life to be cut short. From early on in reading Behold the Dreamers, I judged Cindy Edwards and I’m not ashamed to admit it. She seemed to live a privileged and pampered life, yet for some reason, she treated others so poorly. This was judgement was made prior to learning about her history, but even after I found all that out I still was not her biggest fan. I guess part of this was because she reminds me a bit of myself. Disconnected and indifferent towards certain aspects of the world. She blames herself for her personal heartaches and those of her family and just wishes she could do something to fix it all. As if it will make them accept her. Cindy was just looking for support in the arms of people who only cared about what was on the outside. So she turned to addiction to find the comfort she wanted so badly. She felt alone and powerless which is probably why she treated others so poorly. As a way to show that she still held some sort of authority in her life. I do think that I misjudged her character looking back now. We all have our own battles to face in this world, and though people like Jende and Neni’s are far more obvious to others, it does not belittle the severity of the ones like what Cindy had to go through. Internal conflict is some of the hardest stuff a person can face because they are normally forced to face it alone. Usually, because they feel they lack a person to confide in or they are too ashamed to discuss it aloud. I’ve been there more times than I can count, so I should have probably been more sympathetic towards Mrs. Edwards. This took a sadder turn than I expected it to, but I just realized how much I can relate to Cindy minus a few aspects of her character.

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